Title: You’re Not Listening: What You’re Missing and Why It Matters
Author: Kate Murphy
Published: January 7, 2020
Pages: 278
Genre: Nonfiction, Psychology, Self Help
How often during conversations do you find yourself thinking that someone isn’t listening to you? How often do you find that you’re not listening?
In You’re Not Listening: What You’re Missing and Why It Matters, journalist Kate Murphy addressed the incessant rise of loneliness in the digital age and within cultures that tout personal success and identities over collectivism. Her recommendation (which shouldn’t be taken as a conclusive solution to the assuredly more complex issues of our times 😅) was to listen more.
As a New York Times contributor, Murphy was granted opportunities to meet individuals whose reputable careers were marked by their ability to listen and almost reflexively understand people, from ex-CIA agents to master moderators. By compiling the lessons she learned from the aforementioned and supporting them with scientific studies, Murphy created a book that presented principles of communication I’m sure most of us would consider common sense, but made me contemplate why they rarely seemed to be applied.
“If someone is dull or uninteresting, it’s on you. You’re not listening.”
Although this book was categorized as Self Help, its overall message was less about the reader and more about how the reader can help others. Concepts such as active listening and therapeutic communication are integral parts of my profession, and as someone whose awkwardness can perceived as me being a “good listener” 😅, I found that this book was full of helpful reminders and valuable, new insights.
Moreover, Murphy’s palpable passion and advocacy for listening was a reassuring attitude to follow in a time where our attention has become a commodity companies and politicians have capitalized on.
You’re Not Listening: What You’re Missing and Why It Matters underscored a myriad of interesting topics (the closeness communication bias, therapeutic communication techniques, etc.), but the most important emphasis always seemed to be placed on this concept of how and why bad news and content with the most shock value has become severely over-represented on social media. The book cast an illuminating view of the intentions behind this development and offered how listening can be used as a simple, yet effective form of a rebellion against the online cacophony.
While You’re Not Listening: What You’re Missing and Why It Matters made it clear that not everyone and everything is worth opening your ears to and that there are times when your voice is imperative, it was a meaningful report on when and why listening should supersede instincts to tune people out. After all, “listening will overturn expectations.”
☆☆☆☆☆
i really liked it
Thanks for reading this quick review!
If you’d like to hear about some more specific points that resonated with me while reading this book, I made a chatty journal with me video (at 2 A.M. 🙃) here:
What a really interesting topic! Definitely people don’t focus on the moment they’re in and actively listen anymore. People are always so distracted by their phones etc. Sounds like a compelling read 😊😊🧡💖
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It’s definitely something that should be discussed more seriously! I definitely recommend the book 😄💖.
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I love your chatty journal – subscribed to your channel! This sounds like a book that I need to read because I want to get better at listening too!
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Thank you so much, Eustacia!! I’d really like to hear your thoughts on this book 😄💖!
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BELLEEEE!!!! I MISSED YOU SOO FUCKING MUCH! I MISSED YOUR BEAUTIFUL REVIEWSSSS!!! 😦 😦 AND AS ALWAYS, I LOVED THIS ONEE!!! ❤ ❤ ❤
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R A I N!!! YOU’RE BACK! I’ve missed your energy and posts 🥺💓! Sorry, I took so dang long to reply 😅, but welcome back!! And thank you so much 😄!
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So glad you liked this one! Lovely review, it seems like a really interesting topic! Everyone is so distracted that we all need a reminder to listen
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Yes! The book came at such a great time! Thank you so much for reading this 😄!
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Excellent thoughts on this one. I like the main topic discussed in this book and have often come to the conclusion myself that listening is not a skill that many possess, even less those who aren’t introverts… And what circulates on the media makes it even harder for people to really “listen” too and see through all the deception. Thanks for sharing! 😀
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Exactly! This book and its topic is something I’ve been discussing more with people lately, especially my more extroverted friends haha. Thank you so much, Lashaan 😄!
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Oh this is such an interesting review, thank you for sharing, Belle! I rarely read non-fiction, but this is such a great topic, I might have to check it out sometime. So happy you enjoyed it! 🙂
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I think you would really enjoy this book, Marie! I rarely read non-fiction too haha, but I found the book to be a quick and digestible read 🙂. Thank you so much for reading this 😄💗!
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Great review! I’ll be adding this to my nonfiction TBR!
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Thank you 😄! I hope you enjoy it!
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